


heart of glass; mind of stone

by CheshireCatLife



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Fluff and Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 12:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14593518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheshireCatLife/pseuds/CheshireCatLife
Summary: 'Isn't it lovely, all alone.Heart made of glass, my mind of stone.Tear me to pieces, skin and bone.Hello, welcome home.'Eren comes home and meets the two people he never thought he'd see again.





	heart of glass; mind of stone

_**LOVELY** _

The guilt rolled in Eren’s stomach as he pushed down on the pedal. Having only just finished university, he was on his way home for the first time since. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. He would have loved to return home. For the length of his childhood, his father worked endlessly and tiresomely to support them, leaving them few prolonged periods of time together- it made those times they did have together more special. His mother, ever the stability in his life, drove him forwards, her knowledge unparalleled. He’d relied on her. He missed them.

It was Christmastime, his course ending in late November - just over a three-year course. His foot pressed gently on the gas pedal, urging the battered car forward - it was some secondhand junk he’d found for an insurmountably low price. The windows were rolled down to half-way, the mechanics no longer letting him roll them up again, leaving him open to robbers and cold weather. Shivering, he allowed himself to drown out the cold with noise, welcoming the noisy streets. The darkness unravelled the area, the inky sky met with blasting horns and noisy drivers. It brought balance, Eren welcomed it. For the meantime, at least, it staved off the boredom.

Eren liked distractions. His head was noisy, irritatingly so. He’d had enough chaos in his lifetimes, he was ready for some peace. And maybe, soon enough, some quiet.

The icy roads, despite being relatively easy to drive on, had caused accidents down the line and the trail back was causing major delays, the motorway only a few minutes from the Jaegers’ house no longer a road but a concrete slab decorated with a plethora of colorful cars, illuminated by the gentle contrast of the red and white lights, filled with bristling children, steaming adults and irritable teenagers. All attempting to get back for Christmas.

Eren would not hesitate to tell anyone he could that Christmas was his favourite time of year: the lights, the giddiness, the reconnection to family. Homesickness had poisoned him when he had first left home to get his degree, his mother’s phone calls barely enough to alleviate the pain of suddenly being thrown into the world. He’d had enough of that already. He wasn’t ready to leave just yet. He could lose her again.

He wouldn’t let her go this time.

But, as time passed, he continued with his life. He had to. After months of moping and reassurances, he had finally let himself integrate into uni’ life and had gained a small gathering of friends and a sudden online populace due to his overexaggerated pranks on his roommate Jean, which were no less punishing when returned.

It still didn’t lessen his excitement to go home and he waved goodbye with a heavy heart but a smile on his face. Despite his current boredom, he was still trying to quell the buzzing in his stomach at the thought of being around his family and friends. Alongside his parents, Armin and his grandfather would be there, alongside Mikasa - his adopted sister who lived close enough to visit their parents every year and didn’t hesitate to rub it in.

He inched forwards again, the car jolting as he gave it another shove. And, half an hour later, he had finally made it, pulling out onto the small roads and down a few streets of the state until he reached his parents’ house.

It was a small home at first sight but when entered, his mother had done a lovely job in making is spacious as well as cosy; with three bedrooms, it managed to impress most visitors, seeing as the exterior only consisted of a door and four windows over two rather thin looking floors. The old, beige brick but slowly crumbling but his mother never failed to make the interior as immaculate as possible. She didn’t mind cleaning, she said it passed the time now that she no longer worked. It felt like years since she last had gone to work at The Survey Corps, despite only being five. Nevertheless, she busied herself with one thing or another. She had a lot of time on her hands and she was insistent on filling it. Eren liked that about her. Her calendar was flooding with activities and meetups but not so much that she ever felt exhausted or over-socialised.

She still went to the business events, making new friends and meeting old, asking if they need help around: she would always be happy to help. At home, she cleaned until it was up to standards - which were unfortunately high - but never enough so that people didn’t feel welcome or uncomfortable.

But, best of all, was her cooking. She never went anywhere but the marketplace to find fresh produce, experimenting with new dishes and making old favourites. It was easy to say that Carla’s cooking was a dream.

Yet, it didn’t seem to correlate with how strict she was.

‘Eren Jaeger!’ She screamed, alerting at least another three streets of his presence. ‘Where the hell have you been the last three years?’ She let her voice fall down. ‘And here I was saying to come at four, expecting you to be a bit late. And then you come at ten anyway!’ She stormed up to him, tugging at his ear. ‘You, mister, are not getting any lasagne. It’s cold now anyway.’ She muttered angrily. He whined, pouting as his mother, having expected her welcome to be much warmer. His mother’s lasagne was his favourite, how could she be so cruel to deny him that because of the Christmas traffic? It wasn’t his fault Jean had held him up and he caught out in rush hour.

After a further amount of grovelling, he was gifted a small bowl. Even when reheated, the gooey dish was a dream. His mother, in the end - after a few persuasive words from his father - gave him a more friendly welcome and soon they all sat around the TV, catching up on the last three years.

He must have been talking for at least half an hour - not once having mentioned any of the pranks or nagging from grumpy lectures for late hand-ins - when Mikasa, Armin and his grandfather arrived. He continued after a small hello, his mother beaming at him with pride - at the end of it all, he’d gotten a decent major in Civil Engineering so he was proud of himself too. His father, his long legs perched on the coffee table, smiled too - he was especially proud. Even with the little time they had together, he’d taught Eren to be the very best version of himself and although he pushed a little too hard at times, Eren was grateful for his efforts and was glad it had paid off. It had gotten him to where he was today.

He tried to ignore how Mikasa and Armin held in laughs as he skimmed over stories of stripping himself or Jean or a stranger; they knew everything, he had to brag about it to _someone_.

The evening tailed off naturally and Eren walked out of the living room with a gentle smile. With another week until Christmas Day, he was looking forward to looking around for gifts for everyone- Armin and his grandfather in the mix- years worth of empty presents to make up for. Armin and his grandfather had spent Christmas at the Jaeger’s for years. After Armin’s parents had died and he had been put in his grandfather’s care, his grandfather had already been a little too old to look after such a small child. So, over the years, Armin and his grandfather had become an extension of the family, spending any major holiday in each other's company.

Mikasa followed Eren up the stairs to their shares bedroom- Eren’s old room- whilst Armin and his grandfather took Mikasa’s, his parents keeping their own. The arrangement had been working for years, there was no reason to change it. Mikasa’s room now even had another single bed in it, as did Eren’s. The house appeared like it was designed for even more people than the six of them, another two chairs at the table and another loveseat in the living room. Eren wondered whether his mother had overdone it; she loved all sorts of furniture, mismatching anything and everything. It made for a cosy feel.

Eren fell asleep with ease, the fear of his night terrors numbed over time. So, it was no surprise when he woke up early in the morning to a pounding heart, choking on a sob. He only sighed, wiping a hand over his face and then through his sweat-slicked hair. Somehow the small ounce of hope he’d been holding died; of course being back home wouldn’t change the nightmares that tore at him. No matter the warmth of the day, the cold of the night still poisoned him with unwanted images.

It didn’t matter anyway. He’d long since accepted the nightmares. He almost smiled at himself. _Nightmares._ That felt like a funny word to use when they were real. So, so real. These weren’t normal nightmares, no. Then again, he wasn’t all that normal a kid.

That’s what everyone said anyway.

Not in a bad way - in a good way. At the age of two, he’d remembered and spoke like an adult. At school, he excelled, another two decades of learning under his belt. He was so well-rounded, with a determination that was unbeatable. He wasn’t the only one: others had nightmares. He was the youngest, though. By so, so much.

Yet the oldest. Wasn’t that ironic. What could he say his age was now? 2000? He chuckled under his breath again, slipping out from under the covers, careful not to wake Mikasa, and trundled into the corridor.

These nightmares - or should he call them memories now - had come from the age of two and by now, he could barely separate the two worlds. They showed him himself, a different version of himself. It wasn’t him yet...it was so _him_. Despite then being so undoubtedly slower than his classmates, so awkward and violent, that was still him today. He’d just learnt from his mistakes. He read and his studied and he read some more when he hadn’t had time to do so before, nor the will.

He laughed when he thought of who he was back then - the boy shouting that he would ‘ _kill them all_ ’. It was so childish and naive now, an impossible dream. He’d almost accomplished it. There weren’t many left nowadays, a few terror organisations trying to use them to their benefit, stopped immediately by the Survey Corps - an institution that had defied all probability and remained in its rightful place, even to this day. Though it was all kept quiet, no member of the public had any knowledge of the skyscraper-tall monsters. Only those who remembered or worked for the SC - few remembered.

He’d never met the Survey Corps again, his mother had worked for them. She signed up as soon as she remembered at aged 20, wanting to rectify what she’d previously been unable to do. She married Grisha again, despite his lack of memories of _any_ other life, but as soon as he remembered at the mere age of two, she’d willingly assured him that it was okay, it was all true. It was okay. Then, when Mikasa and Armin remembered at the ages of twelve and fourteen respectively, she did it for them too. Armin’s grandfather hadn’t remembered and suddenly he became all that much closer to the Jaeger’s because of it. She’d almost reminded them, most importantly, that there were two lessons.

One, you do not talk about past lives. What happened then is over. People don’t know about the Titans and it is better that way. So you don’t talk about it.

Two, _only those who need to remember, remember._ It was the most important rule. You could not force someone to empathise by pushing them into their memories, just how Eren and Mikasa had been desperate to do. People remember because they need to so either you give them time or be thankful that they don’t have to remember the atrocities of two millennia ago.

Eren stumbled down the corridors, inspecting his hands, searching for long-lost scars. Of course, his palms were clean - of blood, of cuts, of scars. He had to remind himself that this was a different world now - why did he always have to remind himself of that? Suddenly, he felt the overwhelming urge to check his mother was still there, alive. That was proof. That was proof enough.

He had long since learnt to cope, preferably exercising but this early in the morning it would be impossible. He decided on a walk instead, knowing the burning muscles of a mile long trek and the blistering winter wind would blind him just the way he wanted. Sometimes, all it took was some pain to get some peace. Peace from the images that showed his mother being torn apart by a monster. Images of his fellow soldiers being slaughtered. Images of the people over the sea, staring at him like _he_ was the monster.

Hurrying back to his room, he threw on a t-shirt and jeans, turning his head frequently to check Mikasa was not awake nor watching. After throwing on a flimsy jacket, he headed out. It was late enough now that the shops would be open but early enough that his family might still be asleep by the time he returned - he wouldn’t want to worry them. Although, he was fairly sure his mother would know where he was, anyway. It was her who had advised him to do these sort of things in the first place.

He stumbled outside blearily, the snow-coated floor seeping slowly into his flimsy trainers. Realising that it was far colder than he expected, he turned to go backside and at least put on his winter coat; he rustled about in his pockets. No keys. With a heavy sigh, he retreated and sulked down the street, he didn’t want to wake anyone up at this ungodly hour.

Much to his shame.

Somewhere during the half-hour walk into town, he’d been frozen to the core. Although no snow was falling - it was England for god’s sake - the wind still rushed through the streets ablaze. Despite all memories being long forgotten, he didn’t think the mental numbness was all that worth the physical. His nose, a violent shade of red, twitched, eyes downturned to his frail hands, another strike of the wind and they’d be broken.

His bloody windbreaker was doing nothing for him, his thin t-shirt doing no better job. Denim jeans, soaked and heavy, did nothing but cause him discomfort. This was worse than the time Jean had buried him in snow...in bed...naked.

Looking frightfully around him, Eren’s eyes gleamed as he found himself on the high street, immediately rushing into the nearest, cheap cafe, a single fiver in his pocket - enough to buy him a coffee and a muffin. And God didn’t he need a muffin. The place was warm and welcoming, albeit austere in its decorations. Without hesitation, he pushed into the queue, only a single woman before him, cupping his hands together and puffing small pockets of steam into his hands. By now, it had to be around seven in the morning, the beginning of the early morning rush beginning to spill in but Eren didn’t care, all he could think about was that radiator at the back, and the chair right next to it.

With a coffee cup and a muffin in hand, he pulled up the lone chair to the radiator, dragging over a small circular table to dump his stuff on. With a single sip of his coffee, he suddenly felt rather lonely. He pulled out his phone to stave off the boredom but with another dozen tables surrounding him, bristling with chattering couples and busy workmen, rushing off to work. It was as if a thousand pairs of eyes were suddenly on him, the loner sitting in the corner on his phone. All alone.

All alone.

He swore he could feels eyes on him. He could, he could, he could. Squeezing his eyes tight, he gripped his phone, wishing that he could call someone- anyone. But they’d all be asleep. Eren shuddered, floods of previous, rectified abandonment plaguing his mind.

It always happened when he was alone.

He clutched his phone tighter, the sharp corners of his case digging into hands - into the scars. Yes, he was sure the scars were still there. Deep and jagged. Tooth marks. So many tooth marks.

‘Brat.’ His eyes flung open, trailing straight ahead. A man - all too familiar - with that dangerous glint in his eyes, his arms crossed.

He remembered. Eren could tell straight away. _Levi_ remembered.

‘Captain!’ Eren stumbled upwards, fist hitting his chest painfully hard - it had been far too long since he’d last done that. ‘What are- what are…?’ Eren stumbled, staring at the man with the obnoxiously bored expression, steel eyes gazing over him with something Eren hoped was fondness but looked irritatingly like smug enjoyment.

‘I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.’ Levi stated flatly, like it was obvious. It _was_ obvious.

‘Me neither.’ Eren’s eyes tried to avert his gaze, successfully so, but something else caught his eye. ‘Commander!’ Immediately, Eren knew it had been the wrong thing to do. The man, a confused smile quirking up the corners of his lips, looked down at him, eyebrows - so familiarly _big_ \- furrowed. ‘I’m sorry!’ He tried to rectify, arms flailing manically. ‘I just…’ He paused, taking a steady-breath. ‘I thought you were someone else. You looked very familiar.’ Eren couldn’t hold his confusion, panic spreading across his face as his mind failed to come up with any ideas of how to do anything about this situation. Armin and Mikasa, it had been a gradual process, an understanding that they might not have remembered, or they might. Nevertheless, they would be there. Even with Jean, who’d remembered at ten-years-old, it had been easy. Eren had been expecting it.

Eren had not been expecting this.

Especially not Erwin. A man that he’d last seen mutilated and dead.

Eren hadn’t met anyone else who knew, it was his mother, Armin, Mikasa and Jean. And then, on top of that, Jean had met Marco - who didn’t remember. It was the first Eren had ever heard of someone not remembering. Marco, funnily enough, did remember the Fifteenth Century. He’d lived in Sweden. He’d had a good life. It had made him queasy yet so glad.

_Only those who need to remember, remember._

Marco didn’t need to remember. Lived a short lift, died too soon. There was no need to remember that. Everyone had needed it, undeniably so. Eren had focused his determination, he’d tried harder than he ever had to do well in _all_ things. Armin had learnt almost religiously about the world. Mikasa had finally, _finally_ , let herself relax. Even Jean had become more modest- although not enough, in Eren’s opinion.

Yet, this was a mystery. Why did Levi remember and Erwin not? Eren didn’t know them well enough at all to guess. And watching them standing there, Eren felt almost harmed. One who knew, one who didn’t. His heart torn in two.

And then, like a miracle, Levi cracked a smile. _A smile._ Eren was sure his mouth was hanging open, despite the raven-haired man’s attempt to suddenly hide it behind his haircut. The same haircut, Eren noted.

At just a glance at the man's features, he could tell that nightmares plagued him too. Just as they did him. Armin and Mikasa too- albeit that there’s were less violent. Dark circles under his eyes shaped his face, the darkness reticent of the violent terrors of the night.

Eren’s system was in shock. This man _remembered_. Not 500 years ago, not 1000 but _2000_. Reincarnation was not a new idea nor was it unfounded; research had been occurring for years on _linked dreams_ or the _reincarnation theory_. People say it could reach back as far as 1000 years ago.

It could.

It could also reach further.

Those people just didn’t mention it; they would rather not talk about that time. A time of blood and monsters. The destruction of monarchs and governments. Three children, parallelled on both sides, wishing to be someone- anywhere- else. All in a little corner of Germany, the corner where everything was destroyed in fire and ash- right alongside the rest of the ancient civilisations. Just this time, there were no writings left behind. Only ash.

‘It’s nice to see you again.’ Levi stated, that smile still insistent on his face.

‘You too, Levi.’ The word almost sounded forced, he’d never used it in the man’s presence before. Or, at least, not often. Always Captain.

‘Glad to see you still remember my name.’ The words dripped with sarcasm but Eren was far too used to it to be offended. Although, seeing his superior so relaxed did push him onto the edge. Suddenly blinking rapidly, Levi shook his head, silently chastising himself. ‘Eren, this is Erwin. Erwin, Eren.’ Eren nodded thankfully - at least the man had the same name - smiling up at the strange and familiar man.

‘Nice to meet you, Eren. I’m sorry I’m not who you thought I was.’ Erwin sounded better than Eren had ever heard him. Despite the initial confusion, the man was at ease - something he’d _never_ seen before. There was a deep-rooted calm that had never been there before. But of course he was. He couldn’t remember the bloodshed - the massacre- they caused.

Eren just chuckled self-deprecating. ‘No, don’t worry about it.’ The smile felt forced, _was_ forced, but Eren was determined to make up for time lost, even if not all of it was within some people’s reach.

They all sat, Eren’s stomach flipping as the sickness stirred. Levi flashed him sympathetic glances but, for the most part, stayed his nonchalant self. Eren tried to breathe, carefully and calmly, listening to Levi mumble about his new life: something about being a janitor or something, military service too? Eren couldn’t listen, not to any of it.

He’d thought he found a way to make peace with the memories. He knew they would never go away, they were him - they would always be there. But, somehow, it hadn’t quite settled in that they were going to stay now. For good.

Suddenly, he wished to be young again, way back then, when no memories fought him. No one had memories then. No one. What happened?

Eren was already tangled up in the memories, scars erupting over his smooth skin, blood staining his eyes red, caught up in the webs of truth that he’d never wanted. He tried to remember something else, something from this life. This life, right now. This one, this one, this one. Because even if it took one night or a hundred years, he had to remember that _this_ was his life now.

His eyes, glazed over and locked, stared at the door. Run, it told him. Run, run, run. Need a place to hide. His eyes shifted. Nowhere to hide.

Why couldn’t he just feel alive? Rather than trapped in another world that’s no better than death. He could fight the fear from the outside but he was already trapped in the web, the one that sleep let him entangle himself in. The one that his own mind created as a punishment.

And god did Eren wish that he remembered a different time. A lovely, lovely time. But here he was, trapped all alone, in his little glass box, trapped in his cobwebs, still seeing the outside world and unable to participate in it - too trapped in another one.

He remembered a time when he’d a had the bravery of a lion - a heart and mind of stone. They all had. They all had to. And now look at him, trapped in the web of his own creation. Why couldn’t he just accept it!

He had a mind of stone, his determination unparallel, and a heart of glass, ready to be shattered in a single moment. A single moment in which you see someone you looked up to, someone you watched _die,_ look at you and not even have a single memory.

Slowly, his mind would rip him apart- tearing him to pieces, skin a bone. And wasn’t it funny that it felt like a welcome home? Welcome to what you used to be. Welcome to everything that you still are.

A monster.

‘Eren!’ His eyes snapped up, heart palpitating at a hundred miles a minute, wide and vulnerable. ‘You alright, kid?’ Levi looked truly worried, pupils dilated into small pins, brows furrowed but raised. ‘Memories?’ Eren nodded.

Levi turned to Erwin and for a second, Eren wanted to drag his attention back as to not let himself be alone again. He _couldn't_ be alone again. Going through that alone at night was bad enough. ‘I was his superior in the military a couple years back. A mission went wrong. It stuck with all of us.’ Erwin nodded, thankfully silent, as Levi spun a lie. Although, Eren was sure Erwin wasn’t 100% convinced that Levi was telling the truth. Nonetheless, there was no point in objecting it and, despite Levi’s often failure to lie to Erwin, it was enough truth to pass.

‘I’m sorry.’ Eren whispered. ‘It’s just...overwhelming.’

‘Sorry, kid.’ Levi apologised plainly, leaning back and folding his arms.

‘I’m not a kid.’ Eren argued, trying to take his mind away from everything.

‘You are.’ Soon enough, after plenty of jabs and arguments, they were knit into a tight conversation. Even Erwin, who was still fairly confused, found him drawn into the conversations of family and jobs and mundane events. Their heads were leant in, their locution almost urgent like this would be their last words. Just like it had been back then.

Soon enough, the lie became as well-remembered as a memory. They’d met in the military, that much was true anyway, even for Levi in this life - he’d been a soldier in France, where he was born. Eren replaced his final school year with military service then his gap year as his year of service before he left for college. Eren, having been born in Germany, found it easy to lie that he’d lived there far more years that had had, making it not too hard to conceive that he had worked in France.

‘So, brat,’ Levi smiled, sickly-sweet, at the long-forgotten nickname. ‘Who stuck with you? Mikasa?’ Eren nodded, smiling at just the possibility of telling Levi about everyone who remembered, even in the most roundabout way possible.

‘Yeah,’ he turned to Erwin, although this was for Levi too, ‘she’s my adopted sister. She joined the army with me. Alongside Armin and Jean. Jean went to college with me but he’s gone to see his parents. Armin’s here with me.’ He turned to Levi, speaking as cryptically as possible. ‘We spend a lot of time together, there’s a lot of memories there. It’s like we’ve known each other for more than a lifetime.’

‘Is she…’ Levi started, unsure how to finish but seeing the unsurety, Eren knew exactly what he was asking.

‘Her name was not Ackerman before. You’re not.’ Levi nodded, maybe they’d never been related after all.

‘So you and Jean still beating each other up?’ Levi smiled proudly at another jab.

‘Hey! We never fought _that_ hard. And, anyway, we only like fought...once…’ Eren sighed. ‘It was a bad day.’ He’d rather not remember the day that his fist had connected with Jean’s nose…just after Jean had tried to kiss him. Levi smiled, a little wider than he used to, as Eren flusteredly beat around the bush, not willing to spill all his embarrassing stories from this life to his ex-superiors.

Suddenly, it was even more clear why Levi remembered: those smiles, the determination to be happy.

After another few minutes, Erwin went to get another round of coffees, having just finished a story about his own life - he worked at the Survey Corps now, ironically. Eren wondered how that even worked without his memories. Did he know about the Titans? Either way, Erwin seemed happy to be working there. ‘How are things, Levi? Really?’ Eren suddenly implored, trailing after Levi’s gaze as it followed sorrowfully after Erwin’s feet. Eren, with a little inclination of his head towards Erwin, met Levi’s eyes and begged for a real answer.

‘Fine.’ Well, wasn’t that a lie? ‘You know, I met Hanji. She was the first person I ever met. She was researching in France. Spotted me, remembered at that very moment and bound up to me all happy and stuff despite the shit she remembered. It felt wrong.’ Eren didn’t interrupt; he knew there was more coming. ‘And then I met Petra. She didn’t...she didn’t remember a thing. And...I was fucking angry.’ Levi gritted his teeth as if he’d only now just realised that. ‘Why couldn’t she just-’ Levi cut himself off, taking in a deep breath. ‘Sorry, kid, I’m dumping this all on you. It’s just...I haven’t met anyone who remembered in, well, a while.’ Eren nodded but still didn’t speak - patience was a virtue he’d learnt with time. Even if it took a little longer than he’d first hoped. ‘Erwin was so happy when I saw him. I wanted him to do a Hanji just look at me and then-’ he clicked his fingers with a snap ‘click. He would remember me. And then he just looked at me, _stared_ at me and just looked like I was mad to just stare at him in the lobby of a gym. It took awhile for me to weasel my way in, started spotting him on the weights. We grew closer but it wasn’t like it was...back then.’ Eren’s heart hammered in his chest, anger resonating through him like it did _back then_ . He knew what his mother told him, he knew what the rule was but _why?_ Why couldn’t they remember? If not only for Levi. For him. To save him from this thing that’s clearly eating him up from the inside.

‘Were you two…’ Eren trailed off. He didn’t want to ask what they’d been before. It was probably complicated and messy and stupid and not even a relationship. Yet Eren new it was.

‘Back then, yeah.’ Levi answered with ease. ‘Now, no. Bet you’re glad, brat.’ Levi joked, cracking a smile and Eren just gaped at him.

‘Why would I be-’

‘Oh don’t pretend you didn’t have a crush on me.’

‘I didn’t!’

‘You did. I’m not being angry but seriously, Eren, that shit was obvious. And yadda, yadda, you grew out of it. I know _that_. But still.’ Eren, at this point, was gaping no better than a fish. Levi just sighed, giving him a tender smirk. ‘You were like thirteen or something, I’m not a fucking pedo.’ Eren couldn’t help but chuckle at that, a smile finally cracking his lips upwards.

They chatted once again about nonconsequential things, avoiding anything serious for the sake of their sanity, and Erwin returned with their drinks. ‘What were you guys talking about?’ He asked, passing Levi and Eren their cups before stowing away the small tray he’d brought them on.

‘Oh, just one of Levi’s exes.’ Eren teased, giving Erwin a mischievous smirk, attempting to ignore Levi’s petrifying scowl. ‘Just straight out ignored him when they met again. Seems rude.’ Eren shrugged, catching Erwin’s eyes playfully, meanwhile ignoring Levi’s ‘imminent death’ glare.

‘Does seem rather rude.’ Erwin observed, meeting Eren’s eyes with a challenge. Eren’s determination ran through him with sudden ardour, willing Erwin to just _remember_ and stop being a fucking oblivious idiot (don’t tell anyone that he thought that about his commanding officer, Levi would probably come and beat the shit out of him). Blue met green, one filled with memories another clouded over by dulled forgetfulness - a man stuck on the other side of the glass.

Erwin’s mouth fell open a fraction, his eyes widening; a gasp that wasn’t loud nor noticeable. Levi, for his part, certainly didn’t pay any attention to it, staring at his cup of tea with a spiteful glower. It was when Erwin’s head bowed, his teeth gritted in pain, the coffee cup falling from his hands and splattering the table with brown muck, that Eren noticed something was wrong. ‘Erwin, are you-’ He was cut off by the loud scrape of Erwin’s chair against the linoleum floor, making no less than the entire cafe wince. He must have mumbled an apology, or maybe it was just the low rumble of his chair clattering backwards, before rushing to the bathroom, hunched - almost deformed - in the way he walked. Both Levi and Eren stood to follow before seeing the single bathroom door switch to red: locked.

Without Erwin nearby, Eren could almost see the energy drain from Levi, all appearances fading to grey. Steam billowed painstakingly into his pale face but he didn’t seem to mind; at some point, Eren wondered whether it was the steam from Titans that left him unaffected. Eren didn’t feel that was any better than the equivalent.

Eren’s eyes trailed across Levi’s features, sullen and morose, with pity. The man, ever-tired with a burden larger than Eren could ever imagine on his back, couldn’t even muster a wan smile, his whole body enervated and fatigued - told just by the droop of his shoulders and the sudden pronouncement of the black under his eyes and his eyelids drooped. ‘Why do you stay with him even when he doesn’t remember?’ Eren asked softly, his eyes permanently stuck on the door now, inspecting the vicious red with disdain.

Levi didn’t speak for a while, pursed lips contorting his face as he leant forward and let the steam submerge him. Eren wondered whether that was a form of self-punishment when so close to the mug. ‘It’s not that simple. I can’t just leave. Maybe at the beginning. But Erwin’s still...him. Maybe better for not remembering. We did a lot of shit back then, sometimes I don’t think it’s worth remembering at all.’ Levi paused, pulling away from the tea. ‘You know, he still remembers sometimes. Thinks he has these nightmares, wants to go to the doctors. I don’t dare say what it is and he never mentions it to anyone else. A lotta’ people get memories, I still don’t understand why it’s so fucking taboo to speak about it. It’s all yadda, yadda, it pushes people away from the present and into the present. It’s fucking nuisance.’

‘I get you. But maybe it’s best he doesn’t remember. I don’t know, though, you knew him better than me.’ Levi nodded, almost surprised at the maturity. Sure, Levi had known Eren right into his twenties but it felt so odd to see the boy so mature in another life, still young - still with that short hair and bright eyes, curiosity forceful but unbidden.

‘It’s funny. You look like your still thirteen but you speak like you’re older. It makes sense, really. It’s nice for you not to be such a brat anymore.’ Levi smirked, easily taunting the younger boy - even if, now, they were hardly varying in age. ‘How old ‘r you anyway?’

‘22.’

‘Fuck kid, I’m only 27. Fucking weird.’

‘You gonna stop calling me brat now?’

‘Definitely fucking not.’ Eren was glad to see a small smile play on Levi’s lips in the diminished light of the cafe, suddenly realising that it was quite light outside - the day was passing quickly. Eren was pleased to see they’d hit it off so well. Their last life had been...complicated, messy. He and Levi weren’t friends, barely acquaintances, they were simply soldier and leader. Now, it felt like something new. Something that you could only hold with someone you knew when you were young - even if that was two millennia ago.

Levi let out a breath when the bathroom door swung open, Erwin’s haggard figure falling out, shirt slightly crumpled, the collar half-up half-down. His hair was tousled and Eren noticed with a start that his eyes were puffy - had he been crying?

Before Eren could even notice, Levi was standing, shock turning his pupils to pinpoints, his whole body stiff but formal. ‘Commander.’ Hardly a whisper, hardly a word. No salute, no acknowledgement but a title. Safe. With great care, Eren rose from his seat, almost trembling at the look on Erwin’s face, roughly copying Levi. The gaggle of people in the cafe had stopped to gawk at the awkward trio that had once again drawn the attention to themselves.

Erwin barely acknowledged them, scooping up his long coat from the back of the chair and throwing it over his shoulders, beckoning the pair to follow him with a mumble. The doors opened and they were released into the wild wind of winter, all at different levels of wariness. The park, directly opposite, was still fairly empty - still early in the morning- slowly filling up with young families and couples. Erwin threw himself forward with purpose before sitting, ever like the business-man he was, on a bench, motioning for them to sit next to him.

They sat, both giving each other a fearful glance before focusing in on Erwin, who was drifting somewhere in the clouds. ‘I remember.’ He whispered, eyes reaching for the sky.

‘Everything?’ Levi replied sceptically. Erwin didn’t speak, only affirming with a commandeering nod. Erwin huffed, eyes darting to Eren. ‘You must have really made an impression.’

‘Huh?’ Eren responded, confused, wringing his fingers together.

Levi suddenly butted in. ‘Hanji remembered when she saw me. Erwin didn’t. No, he remembered after you.’ Levi sounded like he almost didn’t believe it and was that... jealousy? ‘At least shitty glasses was fucking decent about it all, though. She didn’t lock herself in any fucking toilet.’ He sent a withering glare to Erwin.

‘What did I do?’ Eren asked.

Erwin smiled, somewhat painfully, the rise of his lips more sinister than pleasant. ‘You were always the key, weren’t you? You know there was a woman who used to tell me that memories of previous lives were triggered for a reason. Or, at least, that was her theory. I wasn’t sure if I believed her. Still don’t. But something seems correct about all of this.’

‘Huh.’ Levi broke the silence, disinterest plaguing his tone, albeit that he was clearly invested. He’d always had a good poker face. ‘You sure you remember everything? From birth to death?’ Levi pushed, fear tainting his grey eyes black.

‘Of course I don’t, Levi. I just know the dreams are real. That’s all I need to know.’

‘Took you a fucking while.’

‘I know.’ Erwin sighed, self-deprecation evident on his face.

‘Oh stop fucking moping. Cheer up for Christ’s sake, it’s been a few millennia.’

Erwin smiled weakly. ‘Indeed it has been.’

‘Come on, let’s walk. Sitting makes me need to shit.’ Erwin almost took a step back, like he hadn’t heard the brunt of Levi’s humour in a while. Not, at least, with his old-self buzzing around inside his head. ‘And don’t you dare start fucking crying.’

They all stood, Erwin shaking his head exasperatedly whilst Eren leant into Erwin, watching at Levi strode off alone. ‘Don’t worry. Jean remembered when he was ten and cried so hard he blacked out. He went to hospital.’

Erwin looked down at him curiously. ‘When did you remember?’

‘When I was two.’ Eren shrugged nonchalantly. Erwin only whispered a quiet ‘wow’. They both caught up with Levi quickly, longer legs giving them longer strides - much to what seemed to be Levi’s chagrin.

‘You brats are slow.’ Levi complained when they were all walking side by side.

‘So now I’m a brat?’ Erwin joked.

‘Of course, you’re younger than me.’ Levi stated whilst Eren stared at him in shock. Erwin turned to Eren with an exasperated smile. ‘By less than a year, he won’t stop gloating. It makes a lot more sense now.’ Erwin’s eyes darkened suddenly, scanning Eren up and down. Eren let him. For Erwin, this was all a lot to adjust to. And, whilst Eren remembered too, he didn’t have a similar experience to anyone he knew, having known from so young. Yet, he still found it easy to sympathise - he knew exactly how terrifying the nightmares could be.

‘I think you’ll find a lot of things make sense now.’ Eren said cryptically. Erwin nodded thoughtfully, seemingly assessing the words.

‘I do. Already I can feel feelings that aren’t mine. Yet, I’m still feeling them so they must be mine. It’s like being split in half.’ Erwin, stuck in the middle of Levi and Eren, seemed happy to be listened to, albeit that Levi did it with only half an ear. Eren was glad that he could get it off his chest before it built up and burst - he’d known what it was like.

They followed Levi for a few minutes until they were on the other edge of the park, milling around a picnic bench, the sun finally over the horizon and casting a warm breeze through the winter streets. Eren remembered now why he’d gone inside in the first place. Whilst the chill had quelled, Eren was still visibly shaking, trying to stuff himself into his jacket to retain warmth.

Puffing out some steamy breaths, he looks at the two men opposite him with distinct awe. ‘This feels surreal. I didn’t think I’d ever see you guys again. So many were lost back and then and I just thought...I thought they were gone forever.’ Eren, a tad embarrassment, turned away and watched as the snow fell to the glistening, white ground - a brisk wind throwing white upon white. ‘You almost were, Erwin. You remembered at a good time.’ Eren gave him a half-smile, awkwardness still creeping into his posture. He knew now that there was no reason for him to be formal with his superiors yet it felt rude to be so casual with them. ‘I’m sorry that you have to, though. I know how much it can hurt.’ Eren gulped, guilt simmering deep within his heart; he shouldn’t have even mentioned it, Erwin was vulnerable right now. Erwin could be like obsidian or dust - strong or weak. All a matter of how much guilt he burdened on his shoulders.

‘It hasn’t settled in yet. It’s like hearing the plot of a book you haven’t read yet. I know what I should feel, I know what happened. But I just don’t feel it yet. I know there should be guilt, I know I’m the reason thousands of people died. I made that happen. But I don't feel guilty, not yet.’ Erwin’s eyes were left vacant, mouth downturned morosely. Eren could detect the frustration framing his face.

‘You know, I’ve fucking known since I was born.’ Levi threw in, shifting the conversation to himself. ‘You don’t realise how shitty being an adult is until your an adult within a group of children. I acted like a fucking fifty-year-old from the day I was born. Could speak and everything. Mum remembered too, she used to laugh about it. She died when I was five. Ran away from Kenny when I was six and went to find the Titans. I was set on it. Took me fifteen fucking years to get over myself.’ Something about the story made neither Erwin nor Eren question how Levi had lived alone since he was six.

‘You never found them?’ Eren asked, eyebrows furrowed.

‘Nope. They’re gone, kid.’

‘No they’re not.’ Eren’s response was automatic. Too quick (probably should have let it on a bit gentler to the guy that had spent fifteen years looking for the damn things). Two pairs of eyes snapped to him. ‘Yeah, that’s what the Survey Corps do. Keep the last of them locked away. It’s mostly on shifters left, though, they’re allowed into the city for the most part.’ Erwin and Levi stared at him with open mouths until Erwin barked out a loud laugh, almost out of character, abrupt and bordering on rude.

‘Well, that makes sense.’ Erwin gasped as he came down from his raucous laughter. ‘The Survey Corps seemed pretty intent on bringing me in. Kept talking to me about locking things away. Assumed it was criminals. Now I feel stupid. Shadis is the current CEO, must have been waiting for me to take his place.’ Erwin shook his head, incredulous. Eren and Levi were both surprised, though they probably ought to have not to been. It was no surprise that Erwin had landed back in the Survey Corps - his dedication had been immovable.

Erwin glanced down at his watch and sighed. ‘Talking about work, I need to go. Shadis will excuse me for being late but I have a few things to be explained right about now.’ Erwin stood up, taking a step back, looking forcefully calm. ‘If you need to contact me, Eren, Levi has my number. I’ll see you another time.’ He walked off briskly, like they were strangers and not friends. Eren could practically see reality setting on Erwin’s shoulders.

‘Is he going to be okay?’ Eren asked Levi, who was carefully hiding his expression behind a nonchalant facade.

‘I hope so.’ Silence fell, both of their minds drifting away with the chilling breeze. Eren remained vigilant and sat outside the little glass box, keeping himself present.

‘So…’ Eren began awkwardly. ‘You think you and Erwin will now…?’ Silence fell again and Eren felt the impending dread that he’d said something _very_ wrong.

‘It’s none of your fucking business.’ Levi spat. Carefully, the raven-haired man took a breath. ‘I don’t know.’ He admitted. ‘Things have just gotten even more complicated.’

‘Sorry.’ Eren blushed and finally stood up himself, brushing the thin layer of grime of his jeans. ‘Anyway, I should get back home. My mum will be wondering where I went.’ Eren smiled gently. ‘Can I have your number? It’d be great to stay in touch.’ Levi nodded and took Eren’s phone, a gentle smile overcoming his lips.

‘You sound like a bloody teenager again.’ He muttered. Eren just giggled childishly and rushed away, throwing a timid wave over his shoulder, leaving Levi alone at a picnic bench. The man had a lot to sort out mentally. Hopefully, Levi had - similarly to Eren - retained a love of the outdoors. Eren had always wanted to ride a horse (Levi had too) but both had their setbacks. Levi didn’t have any money, or any ID for that matter. Carla simply thought it was best for Eren not to try and merge his two lives into one - it would only confuse him further.

But, either way, Eren had never relieved his love of the outdoors: the rush of wind in your hair, the sun beating down on your skin.

Levi, now alone on a bench, savoured the sun - he’d been in the darkness for far too long. Eren, now back home, ignored his mother’s chastising and eagerly ran into the small garden, smiling. Today had been a good day. Interesting. But good.

 

*

 

Erwin, despite the bags under his eyes, looked far better than the day before. Although, Eren was suddenly aware of the familiarity that the smooth darkness in the crevices of his eyes that both he and Levi wore with shameful pride. At the least, though, Erwin looked more alert.

Erwin, if anything, could adapt to his circumstances with faux ease. Not one to dwell in public, he could pull on a facade of calm with ease. Eren may not have known much about Erwin’s private life but it was evident that it was all just a _facade_ . Nothing else. Eren was just glad that Erwin had Levi (hah, _just friends_ ). Something within him burned to join Levi in his role.

‘Hi!’ Eren greeted, lighting up the room with a flash of teeth in a beaming grin as Erwin and Levi entered the cafe - one that would surely become their regular.

‘You’re certainly more cheery today.’ Levi complained, lips pursed in, what Eren hoped was, false irritation. It was times like this, when sarcasm and reality blurred, that Eren was reminded of days long forgotten.

‘Well, this time, it’s not six in the morning. And! Christmas is only six days away!’ Eren’s beam said it all. With a rush of excitement, Eren was reminded why he liked the upcoming holiday so much. Eren watched the two men opposite him carefully, one with a smug grin and another with a scowl that would surely kill. ‘Oh! It’s your birthday too, right? Couldn't forget that, could we?’ Eren taunted cheekily. If there was one thing that Eren was sure Levi had carried from _back then_ was his hatred of his birthday.

‘Don’t remind me, brat.’ Levi scowled, folding his arms defensively.

In a spark of unexpected flirtatiousness, Erwin leant forward, batting his eyelids like a schoolgirl, and spoke. ‘But Levi, I thought you loved your birthday.’ Holding his laughter behind the back of his hand, Eren watched the interaction, glad to see the relaxed nature of Erwin so soon after everything. Surely it was only a distraction but that was good enough in itself. For now, no one was expecting Erwin to be okay.

Levi whacked his tall friend, hard. But, despite the strength behind it, Erwin was clearly used to it and barely flinched. Eren wasn’t surprised at all. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if Erwin’s arm was made of pure muscle. Even more worryingly, he would say the same for Levi.

Oh dear god, please say he wasn’t _attracted_ to them. They were his superiors (right?).

Yet, Eren was irrevocably awed. Levi, with his dark looks and mysterious aura so thick that it was like smog contrasting so deeply with Erwin’s bright intimidating: tall yet relaxed, imposing yet calm. They set Eren on edge in the very same way they relaxed him. The confliction was almost painful. He was sitting on the precipice between past and present. Two men from his past and his present, so similar and different. So them yet so new. Two worlds colliding into one.

He’d once respected them with fear but now friendship seemed to override his entire thought process. Friendship, an odd word to connote with two men. But, still, so inarguably correct. They were old friends, like three old, boring men remembering a life a lifetime ago - _literally_.

‘Eren?’ Erwin broke him from his reverie, waving a hand gently in front of his face, a small smile forming on his lips. Eren faltered as he looked up, eyes suddenly caught on Erwin’s lips ( _goddammit, Eren!_ ). Then his eyes and suddenly it became so blindingly obvious that this was all just a show.

Eren didn’t mention it, meeting his gaze head on and flashing back a smile. A real smile. Their eyes locked and they both smiled - Eren could see the flash of trueness behind it. ‘You zoned out for a bit, you okay?’ Erwin chuckled, albeit kindly.

‘Yeah, yeah. Just lost in my thoughts. It’s still...weird to see you both _here._ ’ Erwin’s light laughter reverberated around the room, bouncing back at them with as much warmth as it had left in.

‘Isn’t it.’ Erwin agreed, not look upset at all despite the circumstances. Maybe there was something Eren was missing. Eren looked at the icy blue eyes again and saw it, with such a power that it almost shocked him yet a gentleness that couldn't be tamed. Acceptance. Erwin had found the truth and, no matter how painful, he had welcomed it rather than pushed it away. (Something inside Eren selfishly hoped that it was not out of selfishness that he’d done it but rather for _them_.)

That, Eren realised, was where he was showed his intelligence was superior to theirs. He was a master of strategy; he knew when to fight and when to hold back. This... _miracle_ that he’d been given was something he wouldn’t take for granted. Eren, with little resistance, almost fell straight alongside him. If not for himself, then for then. He would remember the past without guilt so he could live in the present and give everything he could to the others that could remember. So he could use everything bad for good.

God, Erwin was really messing with his head. (Yet, that wasn’t new, was it?)

‘Don’t you dare.’ Levi snapped at Erwin, much to Eren’s confusion.

‘What? I wasn’t going to do anything!’ Erwin defended, a flash of playfulness in his eyes.

‘I know that look. You were about to get fucking sappy.’ Levi warned, pointing an accusatory finger at his friend, raven hair shuffling ominously over his eyes. Eren was suddenly hit by the image of a puppy growling.

‘No I wasn’t!’

‘You were.’

‘Nope.’

‘Liar.’

‘How _dare_ you.’ Eren watched the exchange with awe, hardly surprised by the way in which they interacted - easy and familiar.

‘So…’ Eren interrupted, feeling left out. ‘What are you guys doing for Christmas?’ Levi huffed but he seemed to have gained Erwin’s attention.

‘Not much, _unfortunately_ ,’ he gave a pointed look at Levi, ‘as this small guy refuses to do anything other than stay at home. My mother is going to America with my step-father so that’s not an option. I guess we’ll watch a film or something and I’ll cook a Turkey.’ At Levi’s following huff, Erwin eagerly added on. ‘No matter what Levi says.’

Levi looked appalled by the idea of cooking a Turkey but less appaled than Eren, whose whole Winter revolved around the holiday. ‘You can’t just not celebrate Christmas! That’s not allowed!’ Eren implored, arms flailing dramatically.

‘We’ve got nothing else to do. It’s better than not doing anything.’ Erwin shrugged. Levi had the audacity to look a tad bit pleased that Erwin had given up just as much as he had on the idea of celebrating.

‘How about coming to mine?’ Eren offered before he could think it through - or take it back. A flush ran thick on his cheeks. (He’d just invited almost _strangers_ to his house for Christmas. Yet, they weren’t strangers, were they?). ‘We have room on our table.’ Eren mumbled, embarrassed. ‘I’m sure my mum won’t mind. I wouldn’t be surprised if she took two random strangers off the street if you don't come.’ Eren stated louder, practically convincing himself of the idea. ‘You might even know her, Erwin!’ He realised. ‘She worked in the Survey Corps for years.’ Eren smiled at himself - this may not have been such a bad idea.

‘Who is she? I don’t recall you mentioning her name before.’ Eren knew that he meant _before_ before (if you know what he means. Wait, of course you don’t. That makes no grammatical sense).

‘Carla. Jaeger, but I’m sure you know that.’ Eren smiled. There was comfort in saying her name, too, like that was enough of a statement that she was _alive_ and well and happy.

‘Carla is your mother?’ Erwin gasped. Eren nodded. ‘Wow, you’re right. I do know Carla. Well, in fact. Grisha too.’ Erwin clenched his head for a moment. ‘This feels wrong, having remembered.’ He paused for another second. ‘Does she know who I am?’

‘Probably.’ Eren shrugged. ‘She knows a lot about both of you, in fact. You know,’ Eren scratched his head awkwardly, eyes downcast, ‘I idolised you as a kid. Not here, of course, but back then. Thought you were the strongest people in the world.’ Eren’s blush was like acrylic paint on his cheeks. Levi smiled, nothing able to hide the slight quirk of his lips. Erwin only chuckled again, deep and rumbling.

‘It all makes sense now. Why you joined us so easily.’

‘Yeah.’ Eren smiled shyly. ‘I had wanted to join since I was like eight. Even if it was ‘cause of a terrible reason, I was not letting the opportunity go to waste.’

‘Well, I’m glad. I may not have seen...the end for you...but what I did see was brilliant. You were the hope, after all.’ Eren blushed at the praise, head bowed further, staring down at the coffee cup cupped between his hands, poignantly ignored the tremble in Erwin’s tone.

Eren didn’t want to admit it but he could see why Erwin remembered. He now had no fear of _love_. Of kindness.

With that, Erwin would be unstoppable. With him and Levi side by side, happy, content, _neither_ of them could be stopped.

‘Yeah, well you didn’t get to the point where I fucking arrested him.’ Levi mumbled. Eren, even more prominently, ignored that too. Shaking his head, Eren stood up, phone in hand. ‘I’ll be back in a sec. I’m calling my mum to ask about Christmas. And no, you’re not allowed to say no.’ Eren held his head up determinedly and walked out, not daring to look back at the two shocked men.

Eren came back quickly, smiling. ‘You’re welcome to the Jaeger household on Christmas day.’ Eren beamed. ‘My mum’s excited to see you both. I think she missed you, Erwin.’ Eren smiled before pausing, his face suddenly contorting. ‘Oh! And don’t worry about presents. You don’t need to. We don’t need them. I hope you don’t mind if we don’t, it’s just quite late now…’ Eren rambled.

Levi said it’s fine at the exact moment said ‘the only present we need is you.’ At Erwin’s wink, Eren found himself almost falling to his knees.

Dear God, if this life had turned Erwin flirtatious, Eren was truly _screwed._

 

*

 

Christmas came and Carla was delighted to have two more people at her table. With always far too much food on the table, she was even glad to lessen the leftovers. They all woke early that day and it was evident from the moment they all woke up, bleary-eyed and tired, that Carla was just as excited as Eren was.

At the very moment Eren had mentioned that Erwin had wanted to come she’d immediately lit up. ‘Erwin! I haven’t seen him in years! I’m so glad he remembers. Oh dear, I hope it hasn’t been too hard on him. And Levi, I’ve just heard so much about him. I can’t wait to meet him. Finally!’ Eren couldn’t say that Mikasa had the same reaction. At Levi’s name, she’d given little more than an annoyed grunt. Despite her respect for him, his rude, abrasive nature had always made her wary. She had, at least, perked up at the mentioned of Erwin. Now him she had a lot more respect for.

Armin, although delighted, held restraint. He’d looked up to Erwin in a world of uneducated - two people with a fascination and a curiosity beyond the walls. And then Erwin had died. And Armin had lived in his place. Levi, leading them through peril after peril, never held it against him but the grief had been evident from the moment Armin had groaned, a sign of life that Erwin would never show again.

Except now. The concept felt ludicrous. Erwin was _alive._

Eren could see the fear and happiness battle inside Armin but they all knew the past was the past. Nothing could change that. Erwin wouldn’t even know. He’d barely been awake when they’d fought. He didn’t know. Only Levi would know. Only Levi would hold it against him.

Levi would never hold it against him.

Erwin would only be happy that Armin had lived on. He was capable of great things. They both were.

Grisha and Armin’s grandfather were finally coming down the stairs, finally washed and dressed when the bell rang, only a little past ten in the morning. Eren couldn’t help but beam: they were just on time.

Eren rushed to the door, opening it with a gleeful grin. He’d suffered for far too long to take any piece of happiness for granted. Erwin and Levi stood outside, as presentable as ever, both in casual wear that fitted them like it was tailored. Erwin wore a Christmas sweater that was neither cheap nor tacky and Levi had his black get-up, a long trench coat elongating him until Eren could almost believe that he was not an entire head smaller than his counterpart. Eren wondered where Levi would find one that fitted (he hoped the ladies section, just for the laugh).

‘You brought gifts?!’ Eren exclaimed upon seeing the three perfectly wrapped boxes in each other their hands - six in total, one for each of them.

‘For inviting us.’ Erwin smiled a smile that sent Eren’s gaze to the floor, flush clawing at his cheeks. In his childish-crush like paralysis, he didn’t even notice how Levi dug his elbow into Erwin’s gut like a warning, only to gain a flirtatious - and downright dirty - wink in return.

Levi took his shoes and coat of meticulously, hanging up the coat precisely and placing his shoes evenly against the wall, inspecting the house with a pleased smile. Carla, knowing the stories about Levi, had put extra effort into cleaning the day before. Although, she was too embarrassed to admit it was for him: ‘a tidy home is a tidy mind’ she had stated.

Carla rushed out of the living room to greet the guests. ‘Erwin!’ She exclaimed, her smile so identical to Eren’s. She pulled the taller man into a hug, pushing herself up onto her tip-toes. It almost reminded Eren of Levi. ‘It’s been too long! And congratulations on that.’ She stated enigmatically, throwing him a playful wink - much to Eren’s shame - and moving onto Levi before Erwin could charm her further, not having even said a word yet.

Once pulled into a hug, Levi did not show the same ease in which Erwin did. The distinct paralysis of his bones practically resonated through the room but Carla paid no mind, taking a step back and inspecting the man who, unfortunately, was shorter than her - even in this life.

Like a light switch, her smile switched from light to dark. ‘I want to thank you for looking after Eren back then. I am glad he joined the Survey Corps. He did a lot of good to the world. Thank you for looking out for him.’ Before either of them could stutter out a word, she fled, a smile ingrained on her face.

All three of them had just had some sort of emotional whiplash.

The three of them shifted to the living room, where only Grisha was present, the others milling about in their rooms or the kitchen. ‘Nice to meet you, Levi, I’m Grisha. It’s nice to see you again Erwin’ He greeted, holding out a hand to an old friend and a stranger. Eren could see the flash of apprehension in Erwin’s eyes - he didn’t quite know the full story of all those years ago. Levi, on the other hand, finally looked like he was adjusting the environment and gave the man a mute smile.

They all sat on the sofas, silence clinging to them gauchely. ‘So, how did you three meet?’ Grisha asked politely. The trio shared a look and without hesitation, Erwin answered, seemingly unfazed by the seeming lack of the man’s memories. ‘Levi and I have been friends since childhood, it feels like we’ve known each other forever. I was introduced to Eren through Levi, though.’ Grisha didn’t seem fazed by the vague answer on how he’d met Eren. They had to be careful, Erwin had known his parents far longer than he’d known Eren in this life.

‘Yeah, I’ve known Erwin _and_ Eren for far too long.’ Levi added slyly.

Eren only sighed and muttered: ‘yeah, _far_ too long.’ It went unsaid just how long that was.


End file.
